GIFT: Home- A Wave of Human Kindness

The 'GIFT' that keeps on giving -
By Debra Filcman/Correspondent - Thursday, January 19, 2006

Dexter School student's Web site encourages good deeds

You often hear the old adage, "actions speak louder than words." But the two in equal measure - words and actions - are what drive one Dexter School student's project to spread human kindness throughout his community and across international lines.

Inspired by the Catherine Ryan Hyde novel, "Pay It Forward," and by the film that bears its name, seventh-grader Alex Southmayd set out on a quest to create a "give" culture rather than a "get" culture.

"People are always asking, 'What did youget for Christmas?', but I want people to start asking, 'What did you give for Christmas?,'" Southmayd said.

This phenomenon, better known as GIFT-ing thanks to Southmayd, is a strategically designed domino effect. Like the student in Hyde's story, this 12-year-old does good deeds for others, asking each of them to pass the favor along. The endeavor was dubbed Give It Forward Today, with the apropos acronym, GIFT.

"It's just a weird thing that came out of the blue," said his father, Mr. Southmayd, who co-conceived the idea and helps support it logistically. "We were just really inspired by Hyde's story and I've always placed a high value on giving back."

That's one of the reasons the Wayland father sent his son to Dexter School in Brookline, he said. The school has a long history of instilling similar values and teaching kids to be of service to others, Mr. Southmayd said.

"There's a dress code, and they are taught to refer to adults as ma'am or sir," he said. "There's a code of conduct there that lends itself to high standards and a feeling of excellence."

Among numerous acts of service in which Alex Southmayd partakes, he regularly visits the retired nuns at Sisters of Charity in Wellesley Hills. There he puts another one of his passions into play, literally - classical piano.

"I've been playing there for a few years and recently, some of the more active nuns were able to sit still while I played and some of the less conscious ones became alert," Southmayd said beaming, clearly proud of his part. "But my dad and I just said, it's easy to make a difference going to visit the sisters, but how can you make a difference on a bigger scale?"

Thus the GIFT program was born, equipped with its own Web site. The site, which has seen more than 2,500 visitors since its inception in March 2004, gives readers some background on the project's conception and history.

It lays down the ground rules, asking everyone to perform a good deed for at least two other people, whether friends, foes or strangers, and asking those people to do the same for two more people.

The site also allows do-gooders to set goals for themselves, print GIFT cards from their own homes (which they then pass along to the recipient of their good deed, informing them of the chain), and provides people with a host of gift suggestions.

"If everyone would just put their fellow human beings before themselves, Third World countries wouldn't be starving," Alex Southmayd said. "All the problems of the world would be solved."

Mr. Southmayd said the Web site and cards help making people consciously aware of giving. He emphasizes that people "don't have to do great things, they just have to do small acts."

Money, he said, doesn't have to be a part of the equation. Suggestions include visiting the sick or elderly, forgiving an estranged friend, lending your car to a friend or driving acquaintances to their intended destinations.

But some do include money. Small price tags are for buying a stranger a cup of coffee, or paying the toll fee for the car behind you. But the Southmayds' suggestions go a lot further for those able to do so. Pay someone's mortgage for a month or even a year, they said, or help a student with their tuition.

Many of these suggestions have been carried out. The Web site also maintains a running log of letters people write in, telling their tales of giving thanks to the project.

"The stories really are the heart and soul of the project," Alex Southmayd said. "They inspire other people, like I was inspired, to do good things."

E-mails with stories were sent in from throughout New England, but also from Tanzania and Nigeria, he said.

"It's all about making these good deeds into habits," Alex Southmayd said. "Our headmaster was recently talking to us about how bad habits are hard to break. But the good news is that good habits are hard to break, too."

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